Last week, we talked about robots. This week, I want to dive into something I call 'Dead Mafia' (pictured above). Animals have always been a huge part of my life, and growing up, I was constantly tuned into Animal Planet and National Geographic—channels that I still turn to today, aside from sports. 'Dead Mafia' is a concept I developed early in my career, during a time when I was recovering from an illness. While recovering I was stuck indoors, those channels became my daily escape. But while I watched, I felt like nothing in the outside world made sense. Everything was continuing without me, while my life had come to a complete halt. I created these characters as a way to express that confusion, and their faces reflect the same disorientation I was feeling. The name 'Dead Mafia' came from the sense that I felt dead to the world, as if my existence had ended. Yet, deep down, I knew I wasn’t done—I was going to come back. I didn’t know how or what that would look like, but I had a sense that everything I was going through had a larger purpose, and I was determined to persevere. As I’ve grown as an artist, these characters have continued to resurface, much like the robots. I don’t often revisit them, but when I do, I feel a deep connection to them. This year, I created a new series of these characters to celebrate that connection. I wanted to bring them back and reconnect with the feelings I had when I first made them. Every year presents new challenges and outcomes, and this year has been no different. It’s been a time of growth, both personally and artistically. Revisiting the past and creating something rooted in where it all began has allowed me to express the challenges and confusion that come with growth and artistry.
Robots were my first creations following my surgery. In the photos above, you can see the first robot I painted just days after my head surgery. The painting began with me randomly applying shapes to the background. I then added a square toward the top half of the canvas, which eventually evolved into a robot. I incorporated wires extending from the robot’s head and stomach, symbolizing the personal struggles I faced during my recovery. The robots frequently hold flowers, representing the presence of hope and beauty even through challenging times. These robots have been a staple of my career since the beginning, accompanying me everywhere. They provided me with a means to express myself during a period when I was isolated from the world—when life was moving on, but mine seemed at a standstill. The robots became a way for me to convey my feelings during recovery in a manner that resonated deeply with me. Some might even say that the robots are a reflection of myself. The robots have garnered significant attention, appearing in a Cardi B music video, displayed in galleries across the country, auctioned off with the American Cancer Society, and becoming part of the permanent collection at Endicott College, my alma mater. These robots will continue to grow and evolve alongside me, but their essence will always remain the same. Through struggles, hardship, and pain, you must always hold onto a bouquet of flowers and recognize the beauty on the other side. There is always hope, and you should never give up.